I was watching a rerun of Real World Austin last night and it hit me really hard. Danny got a call from his dad that his mom died and the look on his face just broke my heart. A year ago on Monday I was going about my business at work and I got a call from my old co-worker Kay and she told me that my good friend Paulette had been murdered. Looking at Danny's face and seeing his reaction brought me back to the day that I found out about Paulette and how I felt. I thought she was playing some kind of cruel joke on me or maybe she had gotten the wrong information. The next couple of days went by in a blur I was going through my daily routine on auto pilot. In my family death was something I was used to but all my family members who had died were all older and they died from natural causes but never something so violent to someone who was so young. I think about her a lot and it hurts alot. I was in Bed Bath and Beyond with my mom on Sunday which was the one year anniversary of her death and I lost it in there I'm sure poeple were staring at the crazy girl who was crying in the candle aisle but it's sucks when you actually sit and think about that person and realize that you will never get to see them or talk to them again it is the worst feeling in the world. I feel like I'm slowly losing a piece of her as time passes and that kills me. She was such an awesome person and I am blessed to have had her in my life but I feel so robbed because she was only in my life for such a short time in the grand scheme of things. Sometimes I forget she's gone and then when I realize that she is all the sadness comes back and I grieve her loss all over again. Paulette Michelle Valenzuela 7/20/70-08/07/04 you are forever in my heart I miss you!